Bike and Cycling Forum > Cycling Forums > Off Topic > Joke Thread


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-06-2009, 06:57 PM   #1
spencer
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 3
Liked 1 Times on 1 Posts

Joke Thread

post your favorite funnies here.


An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. The 80-year-old says, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considers his question for a minute . and says, "I have a friend who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella rather than his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a beaver sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his umbrella and went; "Bang,bang," and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think about that?"

The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."



__________________
spencer is offline  
Segwayne Likes This 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-03-2009, 08:08 PM   #2
trog
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 8
Liked 3 Times on 1 Posts

Refund

A woman went to a K-Mart service counter and told the clerk she wanted a refund for the bike she bought because it won't work. The clerk told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on Special.
Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started
screaming,
"RUB MY NIPPLES,
RUB MY NIPPLES,
RUB MY NIPPLES!"
The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in
front of a growing crowd of customers.
The manager comes to the woman and asks,"Ma'am what's wrong?"
She explained the problem with the bike, and he also told
her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it
on special.
Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air
and screamed,
"RUB MY NIPPLES,
RUB MY NIPPLES,
RUB MY NIPPLES!"
And doing so draws an even bigger crowd!
In shock, the store manager pleads,
"Ma'am, why are you saying that?"
In a huff, the woman says,
"BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE
MY NIPPLES RUBBED
WHEN I'M BEING SCREWED!"
The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly
refunded!!



__________________
trog is offline  
3
People Like This 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-06-2009, 09:22 AM   #3
riderman14
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 109

what did the Irishman do with his 1st 50 cent piece?? he married her!

__________________
riderman14 is offline  
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-15-2009, 01:36 AM   #4
Grape Ape
Younger than Hack
 
Grape Ape's Avatar
Bikes
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 747
Liked 9 Times on 7 Posts

Little Suzie came home from school and told her mom that all the boys at school ask her to do cartwheels because she can do them best.

Suzie's mom told her: Honey they are not asking you to do it because you do it the best. They are just wanting you to do it so they can see your panties.

Little Suzie responded: I know that mom, that is why I hide my panties in my backpack so they can't see them.

__________________
2009 Cannondale - Caffeine F4 - matte black

You have to go up in order to come down. Why is the up part always so steep?
Grape Ape is offline  
salvage_bikes Likes This 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-18-2009, 08:10 AM   #5
riderman14
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 109

whats the difference between God and lawyers? God dosent think HE's a lawyer!!

__________________
riderman14 is offline  
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-25-2009, 11:23 PM   #6
Sean
Member
 
Sean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by riderman14 View Post
whats the difference between God and lawyers? God dosent think HE's a lawyer!!
What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?














One is a scum sucking bottom feeder, the other is a fish.
__________________
Sean is offline  
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-26-2009, 04:05 AM   #7
hophead
Banned
Bikes
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,501
Liked 26 Times on 19 Posts

I'm Irish and my gf, her father, and my father are lawyers. Good thing I'm not easily offended.

How many Irish does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two--One to hold the light bulb one to get so drunk that the room spins.

__________________
hophead is offline  
kneedrachen Likes This 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-26-2009, 06:14 AM   #8
Grape Ape
Younger than Hack
 
Grape Ape's Avatar
Bikes
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 747
Liked 9 Times on 7 Posts

Why does the Easter bunny hide his eggs?



He doesn't want anyone knowing he is having sex with chickens.

__________________
2009 Cannondale - Caffeine F4 - matte black

You have to go up in order to come down. Why is the up part always so steep?
Grape Ape is offline  
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-29-2009, 07:44 AM   #9
riderman14
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by hophead View Post
I'm Irish and my gf, her father, and my father are lawyers. Good thing I'm not easily offended.

How many Irish does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two--One to hold the light bulb one to get so drunk that the room spins.
hey,it's o.k.,i'm polish,so i can identify with the joke thing too!!we do take a beating to you know!! why did the FARMER cross the road? his dick was stuck in the chicken!
__________________
riderman14 is offline  
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-29-2009, 07:01 PM   #10
BanTamStoWay
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 23

Well, this was a great place to come to add some laughter into my day!



__________________
BanTamStoWay is offline  
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Reply


Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The photography thread Industry_Hack Off Topic 5 08-08-2010 02:19 AM
The rant thread Industry_Hack Off Topic 10 07-22-2010 02:32 PM
Photography Thread TxCyclist Off Topic 187 07-12-2010 08:57 PM
Bike Lane Joke TxCyclist General Bike Discussion 6 05-06-2010 08:32 PM

Newest Threads