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Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by rola643, Jan 21, 2020.
Kind of difficult trimming my beard with the mask on.
Does anyone know how many books of Green Stamps are needed to buy a Bianchi with Campy Record Groupon?
My mom got a lot of stuff for the house with those. My brother and I ended up being the ones to lick them and put them in the books.
I remember them from when I was a kid too. Weird to see something after all these years that I hadn't thought about for decades but was so familiar when I was quite young.
Probably more truth in this than we would care to admit.
Ordering a Pizza in 2021
CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut?
GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.
GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.
CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER: My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER: Super! That’s what I’ll have.
GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER: What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!
GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER: How the hell do you know that?
GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at CVS Pharmacy, 4 months ago.
CALLER: I bought more from another Pharmacy.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER: I paid in cash.
GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER: I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns, unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!
CALLER: WHAT THE HELL!
GOOGLE: I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...
I like the mountain man look. Just embrace it.
HOLY WILD MAN!!!!
Led any slave revolts in Kansas lately?
It’s been a year since I got my hair cut or my beard trimmed.
That’s an epic beard!!!
You have me beat.
Well ... he is apparently three-dimensional while you are only two-dimensional .... so I am not sure there can be a fair comparison.
Friskeyyyy!!!! Where have you been. We’ve missed you!!
Went to the doctor today. His parting words were, stay safe and stay away from sick people. I guess that means I should stay away from you people.
Steer clear of I12Ride, he keeps getting sick air on his MTB.