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Joke Thread

369155 Views 4886 Replies 117 Participants Last post by  MilesR
post your favorite funnies here.


An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. The 80-year-old says, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considers his question for a minute . and says, "I have a friend who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella rather than his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a beaver sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his umbrella and went; "Bang,bang," and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think about that?"

The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
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^^ That is awesome :ROFLMAO:.
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Where indeed? Asking for a friend :D.
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If I had to guess, I'd say it's probably only legal to eat pork at this picnic area. If you're lucky, it'll be the short kind...
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^^ Good kitty!
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When I was very young, I'd sometimes get put to bed early so my father could watch age-inappropriate (for me) movies on TV. It used to annoy me to be left out, so I got good at sneaking out of my room and found a spot behind the couch. It offered a good view of the TV and virtual invisibility. All was well until "Deliverance" came up on the viewing list. I was too young to understand the acts hinted at in the movie, but it was clear to me that some very bad people lived in the woods. This was back when my parents still made it out backpacking. Our next few trips into the woods were...spicy for me 馃槣.
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^^ Where's the <face palm> button? 馃槂
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