Joke Thread

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by spencer, May 6, 2009.

  1. MilesR

    MilesR Mom's Taxi Tavern Member

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    One day in class the teacher looks over to little Johnny and sees him scratching his downstairs under the table,
    She walks over to him and says, Johnny what are you doing you shouldn’t be scratching down there.
    Johnny replies but miss it’s hurting down there and it itches so bad I can’t help myself.
    The teacher says we’ll if it really that bad take my phone and go call your mum you shouldn’t be doing that in class.
    Thank you miss Johnny replies as he heads out the door to call his mum….5 minutes later he walks back in with his pen!s hanging out.
    The teacher looks over as he walks back in and sees it hanging out and immediately shocked rushes over and says
    “what do you think you’re doing Johnny you can have your pen!s out at school I sent you out there to call your mum”.
    To which Johnny replies
    “I did call her, she told me if I stick it out till lunchtime she’ll come to pick my up.”
     
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  2. MilesR

    MilesR Mom's Taxi Tavern Member

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  3. MilesR

    MilesR Mom's Taxi Tavern Member

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  4. MilesR

    MilesR Mom's Taxi Tavern Member

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  5. MilesR

    MilesR Mom's Taxi Tavern Member

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  6. Germanrazor

    Germanrazor Active Member

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    Do the jokes have to be politically correct??? LOL
     
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  7. rola643

    rola643 Two skinny Js Staff Member Admin Staff Mod Team Tavern Member

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    No but I will delete "political" posts :D
     
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  8. Germanrazor

    Germanrazor Active Member

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    It’s a good priest and rabbi joke I heard.....
     
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  9. MilesR

    MilesR Mom's Taxi Tavern Member

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    The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"

    Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"

    "Yes," whispered the small voice.

    "May I talk with him?" the man asked.

    To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."

    Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"

    "Yes", came the answer.

    "May I talk with her?"

    Again the small voice whispered, "No".

    Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child.

    "Is there anyone there besides you?" the boss asked the child.

    "Yes" whispered the child, "A policeman."

    Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

    "No, he's busy," whispered the child.

    "Busy doing what?" asked the boss.

    Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the fireman," came the whispered answer.

    Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

    "A hello-copper," answered the whispering voice.

    "What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.

    In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."

    Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated, the boss asked, "Why are they there?"

    Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle, "They're looking for me."
     
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  10. Germanrazor

    Germanrazor Active Member

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    If it is over the line by all means delete it......It brought a big laugh to me and those who heard it some time back!! Sometimes we just have to laugh at all the craziness of this world.
     
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  11. rola643

    rola643 Two skinny Js Staff Member Admin Staff Mod Team Tavern Member

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    Yea... that might be pushing the limit :D
     
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  12. Germanrazor

    Germanrazor Active Member

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    You know its funny when your Catholic friends laugh at it too. I guess my humor factor is different than most. My whole career has been dealing with the most vile of humanity and putting people in federal prison their whole lives. I guess my propensity to be shocked has gone out the window...LOL
     
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  13. maelochs

    maelochs Old, fat, and slow

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    Nothing wrong with the joke .... but it does pus the limits of good taste in a general setting. I have zero tolerance for the whole Catholic Church pedophilia issue---not so much issue with Jewish clergy, but I know the stereotypes. But the joke is pretty raw---pretty much damns all Catholic priests as predatory child-rapers and all rabbis as people out to cheat others .... and minces no words.

    Not a problem but not necessarily suitable for a general audience. I see the humor and also don't like it too much ... but I am fine with stuff which is a little funny and also a little unsettling. Others have different tolerances.

    no criticism of the joke or your humor implied or expressed.

    I can see how LEOs and prosecutors could have a very jaded view of humanity ... I am not in any related field and pretty much think most people pretty much suck .... but some people are more optimistic.
     
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  14. MilesR

    MilesR Mom's Taxi Tavern Member

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    I once had a black inmate and a white inmate almost get into a fight over who got to tell me a joke.
     
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  15. rola643

    rola643 Two skinny Js Staff Member Admin Staff Mod Team Tavern Member

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    `

    I feel basically the same. I can scroll by, turn off, ignore ( when I like ) what I don't like, it's just life.

    I have no personal issue with it but...:D
     
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  16. MilesR

    MilesR Mom's Taxi Tavern Member

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  17. MilesR

    MilesR Mom's Taxi Tavern Member

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  18. MilesR

    MilesR Mom's Taxi Tavern Member

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