An old sailor hobbled into the bar and ordered a beer. He had a patch on his eye, a hook for a hand and a pegleg. A patron asked about his leg. "Aaaar, twas in a fight with pirates! A cannon shot off me leg, now me wears the wooden peg". The patron then asked about the hook. "Aaaar, twas in a sword fight and me 'and were chopped off. Now me wears the 'ook". Then the patron asked about his eye. "We was sailin' in rough seas off Tortuga, and me looks up in the riggin' and a seagull pooed in me eye!" "How did that put our your eye?" inquired the patron. "Twas the first day I 'ad me 'ook..."
Mildred, the church gossip and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing!
Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing. Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house ... Walked home... And left it there all night. You gotta love Frank!
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