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Mom's Taxi
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5,659 Posts
An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away the last days of her long life, when all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.
- "Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really rich."
* POOF *
Her rocking chair turns to solid gold.
- "And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess."
* POOF *
She turns into a beautiful young woman.
  • "Your third wish?" asks the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them.
  • "Ooh - can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks.
* POOF *
There before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten.
With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear,
- "Bet you're sorry you had me neutered."
 

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Premium Member
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1,282 Posts
A Blonde was visiting her husband in jail,
Before leaving, she tells a correction officer: “You shouldn’t make my husband work like that. He’s exhausted!”

The officer laughs and says, “Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell!”

The wife replies: “Bullshit! He just told me he’s been digging a tunnel for months!”
 
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