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Still learning . . .
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Grocery store today - clerk called me "Dearie" and "Sweetheart." I know this does not bother many of you, but it drives me nuts, and happens more often (and is more grating) as one gets older.

I grinned and bore it, but I think I will have a business card printed that says -

"It is very condescending to call someone my age Dearie, Sweetheart, honey or similar endearances. Please call me Dr. Fox or Denver. Thank you."

and hand it out when this happens. Or, perhaps, I will just yell at them.

End of rant!
 

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I agree with most things you say. But I'm glad you called this a rant because my reaction is so different.

In restaurants throughout rural areas it is common to hear myself called: "Honey". In some areas it is "Bub".

I do get a bit sensitive at "Old Guy". But have decided it is a term of awe that I made it that far. As I have said: At 80 and considering my life experience I am either Way Past My Expiration Date, or "Like Fine Wine and Getting Better with Time".

Frankly, for about the past 10 years I don't have time to get upset at language unless it is directly, in my face, deliberately insulting. Like the person today that must have been on the losing side of the last election. He looked and spoke to me as if I was not just a demon, but a dumb demon. I don't have time for that nonsense. I have several close friends with whom I disagree. But we celebrate what we have in common. In this case he was so supersensitive he never even took time to discover what I believe.

Just remembered that old saw: "Call me anything you want as long as you don't forget to call me to dinner".
 

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Still learning . . .
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I agree with most things you say. But I'm glad you called this a rant because my reaction is so different.

In restaurants throughout rural areas it is common to hear myself called: "Honey". In some areas it is "Bub".

I do get a bit sensitive at "Old Guy". But have decided it is a term of awe that I made it that far. As I have said: At 80 and considering my life experience I am either Way Past My Expiration Date, or "Like Fine Wine and Getting Better with Time".

Frankly, for about the past 10 years I don't have time to get upset at language unless it is directly, in my face, deliberately insulting. Like the person today that must have been on the losing side of the last election. He looked and spoke to me as if I was not just a demon, but a dumb demon. I don't have time for that nonsense. I have several close friends with whom I disagree. But we celebrate what we have in common. In this case he was so supersensitive he never even took time to discover what I believe.

Just remembered that old saw: "Call me anything you want as long as you don't forget to call me to dinner".
OK - we differ
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
We take training modules through Trek and they tell us never to use those words. My guess is Denver is not alone in being annoyed by it.
My wife gets it even worse.

I don't mind them asking if I need any help getting the groceries out to the car - I never do - but I know there are a lot of folks my age who do need help.

There truly is "ageism" - but you don't really believe it until you are "aged" and it starts happening to you. :)
 

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My wife gets it even worse.

I don't mind them asking if I need any help getting the groceries out to the car - I never do - but I know there are a lot of folks my age who do need help.

There truly is "ageism" - but you don't really believe it until you are "aged" and it starts happening to you. :)
That stinks. Offering assistance in certain things makes sense. But there is a point where it is disrespectful. You mentioning this made me think of times when have seen people talk to older gents and ladies like they are kids. Uncool. I feel for you.
 

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On the other end of the spectrum, there is a protection services person (hospital police, carried a gun, now a park ranger) , Marine Vet. Young man, maybe 28. That guy is the most polite person I know!
This guy calls me "sir"! No matter how often I tell him "my name is Joe, please call me Joe"....he still calls me sir.....Now THAT! I LIKE!
 

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Mom's Taxi
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On the other end of the spectrum, there is a protection services person (hospital police, carried a gun, now a park ranger) , Marine Vet. Young man, maybe 28. That guy is the most polite person I know!
This guy calls me "sir"! No matter how often I tell him "my name is Joe, please call me Joe"....he still calls me sir.....Now THAT! I LIKE!
When I was in the Air Force my OIC once called me sir. I replied that my parents were married when I was born. He didn't get it.
 

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On the other end of the spectrum, there is a protection services person (hospital police, carried a gun, now a park ranger) , Marine Vet. Young man, maybe 28. That guy is the most polite person I know!
This guy calls me "sir"! No matter how often I tell him "my name is Joe, please call me Joe"....he still calls me sir.....Now THAT! I LIKE!
Back when I worked security, we had a guard fresh from the Army. I walked in the shack one day and he went from lounging to attention so fast the swivel chair shot across the floor and embedded its control knob in the sheet rock.

Only guard on the site that starched his uniform shirts so much they looked like they'd break if he moved wrong, too.
 

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What is considered proper when someone doesn't know your name? Hey you? That sucks more than the typical endearances. Sir and ma'am are my go to's for the most part I guess. Endearances do not bother me.........there are tons and tons more irritating inconsiderate crap going on on so many other levels these days that any endearance doesn't even register on my rantometer...................
 

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Sir, Mam, Mr., Mrs., Or Miss., Are my go to. At work I always introduce myself usually learning someone's name. Then remember their name they gave me and that is what I use.
Something like, "Welcome to our shop (huge smile) I am Emma (offer handshake)." After they introduce themselves. I either talk to them about their bike or if they don't have one with them ask them what kind of cycling they do. Have to learn about them to get them what they need in a bike, gear, or service. They should do 80-90% of the talking. My job is to make sure we get them what really will make the very best possible bike shop experience and ultimately cycling experience. Never upsell only sell what is best for them. Sometimes this means sell nothing and offer them trail info.
I love bikes and love bike people. Beginner, pro, tour rider, path explorer, park rider, shredder, bmxer, roadie, MTB rider or legendary local commuter doesn't matter. Purchaser of a Project One Madone or fella getting his Huffy derailleur adjusted all need be treated like most valued member of our cycling community. Learning and using names is part of it.
I love my job though. Makes it easy.
 

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When I worked at EMS and transported senior citizens, almost all of the females were called Dear or Sweetie, and the males were called Buddy or Pal until someone told us their first name. Now that I fall into that category, I actually get a kick out of young ladies calling me Sweetie or Honey. I guess I would have to wear a name tag all the time if I didn't want them to.
 

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Two skinny J's
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I've waited and can't believe no one mentioned Shug. We have an area here Known as Guinea. They speak very fast and has a very Cajun twang to it. Dawling, is a big one down there. We still have people who are worried about working down there, it doesn't bother me so much other than it can be hard to understand them at times.

Listen to the video, most are tame and talking slpow compared to the real world
[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxyevXniIlA[/ame]
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
So, I have come to a tentative conclusion.

Next time someone calls me "Sweetheart," "Dearie," "Honey," or similar, I will ask them, "Is there some reason you are calling me "Sweetheart" (or whatever)? Is there something I should know? Should I tell my wife? :)
 

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With a big smile of course. UNLESS, it is uttered by an indeterminate aged waitress in a country restaurant with a pot of hot coffee in her hand, or nearby. ☺
 

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One of my co-workers always adds "Thanks Bri" in her emails to me. Because two more letters is too much work. We're not friends, so it's annoying.

Our South Carolina transplant calls me "sugar", and for some reason I have no problem with that.
 

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I think my neighbor just put his new shed partially on my property. This is something that bothers me. What someone calls me or refers to me as is no big deal. At least they are paying attention.
 
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