Here's the story.
Coming out of work, there's 2 lane, one goes straight, up and over an overpass, the right lane veers on to the highway the goes under the overpass. I'm coming thtrough the intersection on the right side of the left lane, since the right lane veers sharply on to the highway and there's no room to move over to the lane that goes over the highway.
As I am coming through, I have a tailgating Jeep Cherokee behind me and some other car on the right. We have the green and I see a 5 gallon spilled bucket of asphalt sealer. I'm trying to wave people back so I can slow, stop, whatever I can do, but being the ****sticks they are they don't back off. I ride through, and holy ****, was it like riding on ice. MY front wheel goes one way, the rear another, I had the whole bike crossed up a few times. I unclipped my left foot and kept dabbing to keep myself upright, remember, I cannot stop because of the cars.
Any of you that have riddena motorcycle in sugar sand or deep mud will know that you keep your weight and on the rear and keep the power on with a loose grip; the motorcycle always finds it way if you stay loose and let it do the work. I figured I might have the same luck by pedaling with one leg but the rear was so slick i couldn't put any power down. Eventually i slip and slip my way over to the shoulder of the overpass, and my bike, shoes, saddlebag, camelbak MULE, bibs and jersey are covered in it. MY braking surface, tires, calipers, EVERYTHING is slick as snot. I used a rock I found on the shoulder to try and scuff up my tires, didn't do anything.
I tweaked my left knee which started to swell, but the lovely city of Aberdeen (shithole), MD has a moratorium on new cell towers, so I had no cell service to call my wife (who had my car with the rack on the roof) to come get me. I rode home, with my brakes on most of the way to try and burn/rub most of the crap off. Problem is, going home is mostly hills, if I put too much power in to the pedals, the rear would kick out.
I pushed through my knee pain until about mile 9 (out of 14) when I had to stop for a few minutes. I eventually got home and brought the bike in to the basement via the walkout side doors. My basement smells like a freshly sealed driveway.
My kit is toast, that much I know for sure. My friend's bike shop has a degreaser/bike wash station that you can rent for 15 minute blocks, I think I may do that to avoid having to do the clean up at my place and dispose of all of the rags, etc.
I'm more pissed about my left knee, I had the crit on Saturday that I now have to back out of, plus I'm in pain. I'm pretty sure the lateral meniscus is torn as my knee is now locking and buckling at random times. Oh and let's not forget the constant pins and needles I have in my left foot.
What REALLY angers me is that there was a guy at the corner watching what was going on, in obvious construction work clothes. Afte rI nearly dump it, he casually walks away. When my wife left, the entire spill was covered with gravel, so it isn't like no one knew what happened.
I've had a lot of near misses the past few weeks and I am REALLY, REALLY thinking about getting a trike to commute on.