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What surgeries have you had?

I have been fairly lucky, knock on wood, to only have a single surgery which was to have benign tumor removed from my back area. Was about the size of a small bird egg.
 

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Unless you count the plastic surgeons that have sewn me back up when I got cut open, (three times) I haven't had any surgeries. Or does a vasectomy count?

My fiance' is going in for her third eye surgery since February. We're a bit concerned, as she's diabetic (Type1) and has diabetic retinopathy.
 

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Aside from wisdom teeth and tonsils? I've had four surgeries over four years to my man parts leading to the loss of my left testicle. They thought it was cancer. It wasn't. That didn't stop them from cutting up my man purse and checking every time. I now have a prosthetic. I finally lost it to pain. I spent years on painkillers. Horrible... but hey at least I'm happy... now.
 

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1 plastic surgery session when I was real young after getting attacked by a dog. Other then that, just scoping of the knees a few times (but I don't count that). So my long answer is no....and hoping to keep it that way.
 

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Funny story about my fake testicle, I haven't thought of it in a couple of years.. I was getting ready for surgery and they asked me what size prosthesis I would like. I said I wanted the size they were taking out. They said that's large, but we are out of large is medium ok? I said as opposed to small? Yeah, I'll take the medium fake testicle. Some where in the world a man is walking around with fake nuts to big for him and I am cursed to walk the world with less than what I was given.
 

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Funny story about my fake testicle, I haven't thought of it in a couple of years.. I was getting ready for surgery and they asked me what size prosthesis I would like. I said I wanted the size they were taking out. They said that's large, but we are out of large is medium ok? I said as opposed to small? Yeah, I'll take the medium fake testicle. Some where in the world a man is walking around with fake nuts to big for him and I am cursed to walk the world with less than what I was given.
ROFLMFAO. This has got to be one of the most hilarious posts that I've ever read. Truth is stranger than fiction. Sorry to laugh, but that was freakin' funny.

Hmmmm, back to the original question: Reconstructive facial surgery, deviated septum/broken nose, right index finger for soccer ball induced staph infection, and that second one that Brian had.
 

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Any post that starts off "Funny story about my fake testicle" is bound to be hilarious.
After my "procedure", a female co-worker was asking all sorts of questions. Some were personal, some were exasperating. I finally offered to show her the scar, which quickly ended the conversation.
 

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Tonsils as a child, a gauze drain put in to deal with a clot in 2001, ingrown toenail about 7-8 years ago, some sort of cyst under my arm about 5-6 years ago, and the big boy -- the steel plate and 8 screws in the right collarbone, October 2008.
 

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Any post that starts off "Funny story about my fake testicle" is bound to be hilarious.
As opposed to a horrible story, which is just coincidentally funny. :D

After my "procedure", a female co-worker was asking all sorts of questions. Some were personal, some were exasperating. I finally offered to show her the scar, which quickly ended the conversation.
I had a group of girls I work with ask to see it. I told them to run it by my wife. None of them could work up the courage.
 

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Ok for the surgery I started. I was 16 and had an old car with a busted trunk lock, i used a screwdriver to open the trunk. My brother loaded a bunch of stuff in the trunk to be taken to school the next day and left the screwdriver in the trunk. It was winter which adds to the fun. The next day we arrive at school and no screwdriver. I pull out my buck knife. Yes this was when we could carry knives at school without the police,FBI, CIA and national guard being called in. I stuck it in the lock and twisted trunk unlocked. Remember it was cold. The weatherstripping had frozen to the metal and the trunk while unlocked was froze shut. I had turned my knife back straight up and down and pulled up on it to open the trunk. At this point I decided my brother and I needed to see what a humans finger bone looked like without skin and muscle and such attached to it. The knife came out and commenced to perform the necessary surgery needed. My brother parked my car and brought me my keys while I waited for my dad to show up. He signed me out and asked if I was OK to drive. I figured heck she wrapped it with gauze and tape I was good and drove to the hospital as he followed in his truck.

16 stitches and a few butterfly bandages later I was good to go. My dad decided that we needed to spend some quality time together so we went to lunch then to the range to do some shooting. Then back to the hospital because one stitch pulled out. We never considered it would be a problem to use the stitched up finger to pull the trigger.

The cool part of it is the scar. which has now almost disappeared, is in the shape of a cross. It would have been a plain line but where I used the finger to shoot with and the stitch pulled out it added the cross line to it. It didn't hurt when the stitch pulled out because it was still numb. But the doc fussed at both me and my dad.
 
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