The Piffle Thread

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Garilia, Apr 8, 2011.

  1. Garilia

    Garilia New Member

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    Don't knock it until you've tried it ;)

    I'm thinking of putting a cigar holder on my handlebars. Maybe removing the bar end cap, and getting the right ring gauge cigar to fit in there! Sounds like a niche for Macanudo! There's "golf course" cigars, we need a Tour de Tobacco Leaf!
     
  2. Industry_Hack

    Industry_Hack Total noob (& forum admin) Admin Staff Tavern Member

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    Maybe your prize for the movie quiz should be one of those limited Macanudos with the stainless band...
     

  3. Garilia

    Garilia New Member

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    I haven't seen those. I smoked a Perdomo on Wednesday. Nick Perdomo has a cigar factory less than 10 miles from my house. I've been told I really should go visit the Padron factory in Miami.
     
  4. Industry_Hack

    Industry_Hack Total noob (& forum admin) Admin Staff Tavern Member

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  5. Garilia

    Garilia New Member

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    A local shop was having a sale on Lot 23's, so I bought a box of 20 for about $85. They threw in a Perdomo ashtray for free.

    [​IMG]
    It's a huge ceramic ashtray just like pictured above. It's more than a foot in diameter.
     
  6. Garilia

    Garilia New Member

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    If this thread is on topic, it's been hijacked.
     
  7. Garilia

    Garilia New Member

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    The thread for twatwaffle's (some diner should serve these up!) and balderdash. No pilfering allowed.

    If you want to talk about bike's and rides, you need to buy everyone a round.

    [​IMG]

    The house beer:

    [​IMG]
     
  8. Industry_Hack

    Industry_Hack Total noob (& forum admin) Admin Staff Tavern Member

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    Not sure if that merge was messy or not, but I figured we shouldn't spoil the seat thread with cigar talk. Like other things, I collect cigars. Not really something I can enjoy much since my surgeries.
     
  9. Garilia

    Garilia New Member

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    No problem :thumbsup:, it just knocked the first post of The Piffle Thread to the 6th post, but that just adds to the charm of it.

    Cigars and surgery, are you David Letterman? :rolleyes:

    I agree with cigars not cluttering the seat talk thread.
     
  10. Industry_Hack

    Industry_Hack Total noob (& forum admin) Admin Staff Tavern Member

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    Sinus cavities scraped and reshaped, turbinate reduction, tonsils, uvulectomy, and part of my palate removed. All because I moved from the beach to the high desert.

    Don't tell my uncle about these...
     

    Attached Files:

  11. Garilia

    Garilia New Member

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    Yuck. My brother-in-law has had to have sinus surgery, but he didn't have it to the extent that you have had to. I had my tonsils removed as a child.
     
  12. Garilia

    Garilia New Member

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    Mum's the word! (What are the torpedoes on the left?)
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2011
  13. Industry_Hack

    Industry_Hack Total noob (& forum admin) Admin Staff Tavern Member

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  14. funetical

    funetical Slowin it up.

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    I routinely have a cigarette hanging out of my lips now a days. Stupid stress.
     
  15. Garilia

    Garilia New Member

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    Okay, that's one I've never heard of, so I didn't recognize the ring wrapper.

    A good friend of my 23 year old son's can recognize almost any cigar just by seeing a portion of a ring wrapper. I was smoking an Ashton Virgin Sun Grown a couple of weeks ago, and he recognized it instantly even though my hand obscured part of the wrapper.
     
  16. Garilia

    Garilia New Member

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    I think I shall post mostly in the off-topic forum. It's impossible to derail/hijack an Off-Topic thread! Of course most of my hijacks simply demonstrate my tangential thinking abilities.
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2011
  17. Garilia

    Garilia New Member

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  18. Garilia

    Garilia New Member

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    Myths RETOLD

    Zeus does not understand contraception


    Okay so yes this is a little late I'm still on East Coast time as*h*l*s

    anyway Zeus right
    he is experimenting with potential hiding places for his penis
    all over this chick Metis
    he has already tried all the usual options
    armpit
    ear canal
    that place that is like an armpit but it is behind your knee
    and you don't put deodorant on it
    or at least I don't
    but actually i dont think the greeks put deodorant anywhere
    anyway he's running out of penis hollows
    when he is like wait a second
    there is this thing called a vagina i keep hearing about
    i wonder if that would be a good place for my penis
    well sh*t only one way to find out
    hey metis get over here i need to use your vagina for science
    (this is an excellent pick up line by the way
    try it at home)
    so then they have sex obviously
    but clearly zeus has not thought this sh*t through
    i mean when does he ever think this sh*t through
    because see there is this prophecy floating around
    that zeus is gonna have a kid that is gonna be more powerful than him
    and zeus hears about this sh*t and he is like WHAT
    COME ON
    WE CAN'T HAVE THAT
    and then someone else tells him that the way you have kids
    is by hiding your penis in vaginas for extended periods of time
    and zeus is like what seriously
    f***kckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
    HEY METIS
    GET OVER HERE
    I WANT TO PLAY A GAME WITH YOU AND MAYBE FORCE YOU TO HAVE AN ABORTION
    and metis is like ok what is this game you are talking about
    and zeus is like how bout a shapeshifting contest
    and metis is like i dont see how this could possibly go wrong
    okay i am a chainsaw now
    and zeus is like I AM BUTTER
    and metis is like I AM A SALAD
    and zeus is like I AM TWO CATS f**kING
    and metis is like FORM OF A GLASS OF WATER
    and zeus is like I'M A WHOLE BUCKET OF TACOS
    and metis is like OH YEAH WELL I'M A FLY NOW
    and zeus is like BAM BITCH THAT WAS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS WAITING FOR
    and he eats her
    thus effectively solving all his problems forever
    but actually his problems are not solved at all
    because nine months later
    he gets this bonerkilling headache
    that kills all his boners with such ferocity
    that he actually has hephpaestus split open his head with a shovel
    and BOOM
    HERE COMES ATHENA
    SPRINGING FULLY FORMED OUT OF ZEUS'S BRAINWOMB
    and zeus is like aw sh*t now i gotta pay child support

    so the moral of the story is
    always wear a condom
    because otherwise
    you are going to have to resort to an impromptu skull c-section
    with a shovel

    It's good to be back.
    WROUGHT BY THE GREAT Ovid
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2011