You own more tights than a children's theater performing Peter Pan.
Your wallet is clear, made of plastic and sports the designer label, Ziplok.
When styling professionals ask what product gets your hair to do that, you answer, "Helmet."
You yell into crowds exiting ballgames, shopping centers and concerts to "hold their line." They yell back that they've got something for you to hold.
You've pedaled home balancing a case of bottled beer, two bags of tortilla chips, three avocados and a hostess snack pie on your handlebars.