Two Spoke Forums banner

1 - 20 of 30 Posts

·
Seasider
Joined
·
451 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Birthday surprise
It was my 30th birthday and I was cycling home from work on a Claud Butler ten speed, no doubt thinking about the birthday repast and alcohol I would be having later. I was passing a school sports field where the kids were playing soccer. As luck would have it, the ball suddenly came sailing over the railings and landed slap bang in front of the bikes' front wheel. Calamity. As you can imagine, I suddenly found myself flying through the air as rider and bike parted company. Luckily, instead of landing on the road or pavement I was flung onto the adjacent grass verge and landed without damage. Unluckily, the side of my face landed almost fully in a not insignificant pile of dog excrement (a dog nest in local parlance) that had innocently lain dormant for some time. However, it had not lain long enough to become, let's say firm. My displeasure was displayed with a time honoured expression uttered somewhat audibly, (which I am sure you can hazard a guess at). Having picked myself up with as much grace and dignity as I could muster under the circumstances, I wiped my face with a handful or two of grass, and rode off manfully into the sunset, to the sound of a dozen or more kids shouting; 'It's Mr Sh*t. They were not wrong
 

·
Deranged Touring Cyclist
Joined
·
5,172 Posts
Bongo,

:eek: I've been known to utter strings of...unfortunate terms upon just stepping in a 'dog nest'. Can't imagine essentially face-planting in one! Road rash would take longer to heal, but I bet it took a good long while for your face to feel clean...yuck!
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
5,352 Posts
He was noted for his Sh1t eating grin for quite some time following the event.
 

·
Seasider
Joined
·
451 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
Bongo,

:eek: I've been known to utter strings of...unfortunate terms upon just stepping in a 'dog nest'. Can't imagine essentially face-planting in one! Road rash would take longer to heal, but I bet it took a good long while for your face to feel clean...yuck!
Hmmm it's now 27 years ago, but it feels like yesterday. However, I guess the dog is now dead....but I'm still here.:eek:
 

·
Deranged Touring Cyclist
Joined
·
5,172 Posts
He was noted for his Sh1t eating grin for quite some time following the event.
Thanks for that, Dave. My coworkers are looking at me oddly, now. Seems I broke a long round of total silence with my hysterical laughter :D
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
432 Posts
Xela and I are riding. He spots this guy up the road and suggests we catch him. Off we go. Went down a pretty good hill and are going to blow this guy's doors off. Xela likes to chat, so I figure that we will do that. We are tooling along at 30+ so I figure I will pass the guy, and slow nicely to chat. Xela thinks we are going to do a fly by. I hit the brakes and hear "DAMN IT MARK!" mixed with sliding tires. Xela plants his right shifter in my arse. Nobody wrecks but here's this guy on the bike. "So, how's it going?" I say. I have a large wrap on my elbow from running over a weenie dog a week or two earlier, so the bandage topic comes up. Few moments of awkward convo and we move on. "Well, guess we won't be riding with that guy!" somebody says.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
3,198 Posts
Xela and I are riding. He spots this guy up the road and suggests we catch him. Off we go. Went down a pretty good hill and are going to blow this guy's doors off. Xela likes to chat, so I figure that we will do that. We are tooling along at 30+ so I figure I will pass the guy, and slow nicely to chat. Xela thinks we are going to do a fly by. I hit the brakes and hear "DAMN IT MARK!" mixed with sliding tires. Xela plants his right shifter in my arse. Nobody wrecks but here's this guy on the bike. "So, how's it going?" I say. I have a large wrap on my elbow from running over a weenie dog a week or two earlier, so the bandage topic comes up. Few moments of awkward convo and we move on. "Well, guess we won't be riding with that guy!" somebody says.
Yeah, I definitely would have liked to have seen that from his perspective. Definitely wasn't as cool of a pass as I pictured about 10 seconds before the incident.

Anyway, the shifter to the backside was a move you originated a few weeks earlier. Remember? But your aim placed it square on my tailbone. I still remember that one. That incident was quite similar huh. Sliding tires, some type of loud mumbling that sounded like "uuummmmppppp", and then shifter to the coccyx. Maybe we should design and fab some brake lights.
 

·
Deranged Touring Cyclist
Joined
·
5,172 Posts
Late Middle School. Some kind of science competition at the local university - all-day event. I lived out in the boonies, but talked a neighbor into bringing my MTB to town so I could ride around campus.

I quickly learned to like the campus' cement sidewalks for the amazing extra traction they provided over the dirt that was my normal fare. I'd never ridden on cement before, and proceeded to have fun with it. At one point, I was bombing across a lawn in front of 20-30 classmates, all on foot. I flew through some active sprinklers, braked and bumped up onto a perpendicular sidewalk. I threw the bike into a hard turn to follow the sidewalk and bore down hard on the cranks to rebuild speed quick. New favorite maneuver!

I hit the side walk hard while the bike spun away and what felt like every single student in my school erupted with laughter behind me. I bruised my hip a bit, but never even felt it at the time. After an instant of utter confusion and dawning horror, I pretty much bounced off the cement and scrambled back aboard the bike with a face almost as red as the frame of my ~'87 Specialized Hard Rock Comp. It wasn't a bad wreck at all in terms of physical pain. Took a looong time to live down, though :eek:

What happened? As some of you may know, cement has different traction characteristics when it's wet vs. dry ;) I'd never cycled on cement before and hadn't even registered that the section I used had just been watered by the sprinklers. I was fine to make the turn, but the extra torque of my manly acceleration just squirted the rear tire out from under me.

I hadn't thought about my early cycling days in quite a long while before this thread and another prompted me to remember some early...call them learning experiences. I learned lots of basic cycling lessons the hard way. Looking back, it's amazing I wasn't seriously injured...quite a number of times.

I know I'm not the only one. Come on, people, let's share some more embarrassing cycling moments! :cool: :D :thumbsup:
 

·
Seasider
Joined
·
451 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
Late Middle School. Some kind of science competition at the local university - all-day event. I lived out in the boonies, but talked a neighbor into bringing my MTB to town so I could ride around campus.

I quickly learned to like the campus' cement sidewalks for the amazing extra traction they provided over the dirt that was my normal fare. I'd never ridden on cement before, and proceeded to have fun with it. At one point, I was bombing across a lawn in front of 20-30 classmates, all on foot. I flew through some active sprinklers, braked and bumped up onto a perpendicular sidewalk. I threw the bike into a hard turn to follow the sidewalk and bore down hard on the cranks to rebuild speed quick. New favorite maneuver!

I hit the side walk hard while the bike spun away and what felt like every single student in my school erupted with laughter behind me. I bruised my hip a bit, but never even felt it at the time. After an instant of utter confusion and dawning horror, I pretty much bounced off the cement and scrambled back aboard the bike with a face almost as red as the frame of my ~'87 Specialized Hard Rock Comp. It wasn't a bad wreck at all in terms of physical pain. Took a looong time to live down, though :eek:

What happened? As some of you may know, cement has different traction characteristics when it's wet vs. dry ;) I'd never cycled on cement before and hadn't even registered that the section I used had just been watered by the sprinklers. I was fine to make the turn, but the extra torque of my manly acceleration just squirted the rear tire out from under me.

I hadn't thought about my early cycling days in quite a long while before this thread and another prompted me to remember some early...call them learning experiences. I learned lots of basic cycling lessons the hard way. Looking back, it's amazing I wasn't seriously injured...quite a number of times.

I know I'm not the only one. Come on, people, let's share some more embarrassing cycling moments! :cool: :D :thumbsup:
Super story..:D..and it does demonstrate the difference between incidents when showing off and true life happenings that randomly occur. Now, are you sure you have fully learned from earlier experiences. Find it quaint that at the time you had never ridden on cement!!!!
 

·
Deranged Touring Cyclist
Joined
·
5,172 Posts
Super story..:D..and it does demonstrate the difference between incidents when showing off and true life happenings that randomly occur. Now, are you sure you have fully learned from earlier experiences. Find it quaint that at the time you had never ridden on cement!!!!
Glad you enjoyed the story, Bongo! Looking back on it, I feel a bit strange making the cement admission, but it's true. I'd walked on cement before, but never cycled on it until that day. On the other hand, by that point I had cycled hundreds of miles in the dirt - BMX early on, then MTB. I'd also done things in a boulder field that I could only have pulled off, looking back on it, because no one was around to tell me how insanely dangerous and blazingly-stupid my ideas were ;)

Fortunately, there was no one there to watch, so Murphy was kind and I survived. Ahh, youth. Immortal and invulnerable...until you make that first big mistake.
 

·
Seasider
Joined
·
451 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
newleaf150 said:
Glad you enjoyed the story, Bongo! Looking back on it, I feel a bit strange making the cement admission, but it's true. I'd walked on cement before, but never cycled on it until that day. On the other hand, by that point I had cycled hundreds of miles in the dirt - BMX early on, then MTB. I'd also done things in a boulder field that I could only have pulled off, looking back on it, because no one was around to tell me how insanely dangerous and blazingly-stupid my ideas were ;)

Fortunately, there was no one there to watch, so Murphy was kind and I survived. Ahh, youth. Immortal and invulnerable...until you make that first big mistake.
Well we all do things that seem right at the time.

This thread could be a cycling confessional!

My original post was done under the influence of beer.
 

·
Two skinny J's
Joined
·
21,314 Posts

·
Senior Member
Joined
·
717 Posts
How about when you try to get "one more ride" out of an old pair of cycling shorts? Of course I didn't notice the hole until my wife's friend started laughing and insisted that I ride in the back.
 

·
Deranged Touring Cyclist
Joined
·
5,172 Posts
How about when you try to get "one more ride" out of an old pair of cycling shorts? Of course I didn't notice the hole until my wife's friend started laughing and insisted that I ride in the back.
:eek: Just a bit embarrassing! Thx for sharing...I needed some humor this Monday morning :thumbsup:
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
8,414 Posts
I forgot about this story. . .

My first bike was a '67 Schwinn Stingray fastback garbage picked by my completely insane grandfather (I was born in '79 so, the bike was waaaaaay well past its prime).

This bike had the notorious Stik-Shift, which was banned by the CPSC. In the interest of ending the family name, my father left it on but to stop me from dropping the chain or being unable to ride up a hill and demanding a push, he disconnected the derailleur cable and put the chain on the 3 (middle) cog.

At a huge family gathering in a county park, I discovered I could move the chain by hand (when stopped) to the lowest gear, stomp on the pedals and lift the front wheel. Wheelies! Cool!

So being the "it-seemed-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time" I placed myself on the paved path in front of everyone and stomped on those rubber block pedals for all I was worth.

The front wheel made it to about 75 degrees when. . . . . .

The raised circle on the knob of the Stik-Shift promptly planted itself in the middle of my forehead before the bike flipped over.

Result?

A huge red circle in the middle of my forehead for about 4 days.

Try going to 4th grade with THAT!
 

·
Two skinny J's
Joined
·
21,314 Posts
I miss bongo :(
 
1 - 20 of 30 Posts
Top